Life After Love: Part Two
Each raindrop could hold a galaxy for all I know, she thought to herself. Considering things such as time, space and perspective always cheered her up. It reminded her how insignificant she really was in the large scheme of things. That was comforting. Grounding. It reminded her that out of all the things she knew the most important thing to remember was that she really didn’t know anything. The universe was too complex a place to understand, so there was no use pretending. It was human nature to wonder why the world was so and it was a curse of the human condition to never know the answer. She liked to think death provided clarity, but didn’t get her hopes up.
Time was a continuous, unstoppable force. Or was it? Was it possible to manipulate time through space? Was now all there really was? It couldn’t be. That would be so disappointing. So anti-climactic. She liked to think that time existed on different planes and in different dimensions. She hadn’t quite figured out how yet, but she liked to think each moment in time had its own special place in the universe. It’s own little niche. Each moment was occurring simultaneously at all times and so there really was no such thing as time or death or beginnings or ends. There were just different stops along an infinite timeline. Right now was just where her consciousness happened to be.
She liked to think that when she slept she traveled light years away, around the universe and back. Maybe she traveled to different lifetimes, different forms of existence. The possibilities were endless, which was exactly why she liked considering them. There was no right or wrong, just infinite possibilities. Just like there were infinite raindrops.
So maybe, somewhere in time and space, she was with him. Somewhere in the universe they were together, happy and in love. Maybe that’s where she went when she slept. Those moments in time when they were together. The moments had been brief, but they were the happiest she had ever known. If she could choose anywhere in time and space to be, it would be with him. It didn’t matter where or when. As long as she was with him. And as long as he loved her again. She wasn’t so naive to think he loved her still.
They were done for this lifetime. He had moved on, moved past her. He was happy with someone else. She didn’t understand how it was possible to love someone so much that didn’t love you back. It seemed so very illogical and self-depreciating. It went against all biological instincts. That was because love was selfless. Evolution, on the other hand, was selfish.
Those that loved too deeply would be weeded out by natural selection she figured. At least those whose love was unrequited. It hurt too much not to be fatal.