Oy Gevalt, by Matthew Harris

Oy Gevalt – Moi Ongepatchket Married Life!


Once thy future spouse (Abby Zison) found herself in the family way

  (with what would turn out to be the first of our two daughters – i do say

  determined and sealed the decision per our rolling in the figurative hay

  to wed said mother of thine deux female progeny on an agreed upon day!


Both of us happened to be older grown offspring at ten times thrice

  Or three plus decades to be generally precise our fate sealed no clay dice!


Said age difference approximately a year and a half between us two,

  and miserably living with parents, which o’er the years rancor grew!

I agreed to pledge my troth on the premise this writer

  (christened Matthew Harris) aka king o one scott the lighter

  found himself in the throes of becoming a potential mister mom

  per one dominant seminal striver a darwinian fighter!


Since neither of us took any precautions and thru caution to the wind

  the inevitable (i.e. a so called bun in the oven) nonetheless

  tasting supposed verboten fruits branded us as having sinned

  took us by surprise and got us necessarily biologically pinned!

Even though a decision to tie the gordian knot (more like a noose)

  per donning the role of future father tightened and n’er got loose

  an inner conflict jostled thine inner being

  against forming a legal wedded union – the deus!


Prior to taking that legal vow to be husband and wife

  until death doth us part before the justice of the peace

  (which building matter of fact, happens to be

  a hopper, skipper and jumper

  from where this seat experiences posterior strife

  because this gluteus maximus constitutes on bony arse

  as if being cut by a knife

  matrimonial bliss seemed like a pipe dream

  in subsequent years only to spiral into a maelstrom of some chaotic life!


In truth, the prospect to marry

  in general mills and aforementioned gal in particular

  hardly filled yours truly with giddy excitement

  but a decision this troubadour wished to defer and tarry!


Passive agreement to acquiesce by saying that necessary “I do”

  per impregnating the woman named above transpired until her belly grew

  swollen with eden liat thy current star student

  now sound asleep – counting sheep lined up in a queue

  yet lately this personal state of affairs I chronically rue

  and immerse myself in reminiscing about yesteryear

  and wonder why passivity elected as a way to escape

  utter aversion living with dad and (thy late) mom

  both in a boiling can a bull stew!


Predilection to play Russian roulette by avoiding any safe sexual mode

  i.e. contraceptives to avoid unplanned pregnancy

  shrugged atlas off while spermatozoa adhered to reproductive code

  which absence to use birth control also arose

  as a natural propensity to procreate from natural urges that did goad!


Now, less joy de vivre doth prevail

  to remain monogamous and uphold strictures from this male

fidelity, integrity morality, et cetera buts ahead without fail

from rampant testosterone urge to become appeased, fulfilled, satiated

   no matter this dozen plus year bride and groom blindly entered

   the unalterable sacred covenant whence sexual need now does ail!


After the birth of daughter numero dos did arrive

  the preponderance of physical gratification

  took a kamikaze nose dive

seeks special care in lass for long lasting marriage and love to strive!


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